America – home of freedom, capitalism, and some amazing craft beers. In a new feature the PTP crew (Note D and Geng Grizzly) and myself rate a variety of the craft beers available on the market in honest no-holds-barred fashion. Trust us, we don’t like everything, but we know a good beer when we come across one. Put down that Budweiser and treatyourself to a new brew this weekend, you won’t regret it. No hops were harmed in the making of these reviews and everything in this feature can be purchased from Good Beer (422 E 9th St, New York, NY). This time around we review the following:

Firestone Walker’s Reserve Porter
Dogfish Head : namaste
Wild Onion Hop Slayer Double IPA 
Rogue Farms: Grow the Revolution OREgasmic Ale

Without further ado let’s get drinking. Read the reviews after the jump

Firestone Walker’s Reserve Porter

Branding & Appearance

Geng: Double thumbs up on the branding, I am a big fan of bears and lions boxing. The bear wins for me.

Note: I like the branding, it has a sorta older look to it and isn’t really that modern graphic design. It reminds me more of the branding on liquor.

Appearance: Lots of small bubbles, slightly foamy, and a great looking color and consistency.

Smell &Taste

Geng: Smells good. Other than something from Dogfish Head, this may be the best Porter that I’ve tasted.

Verdict

2 Thumbs up

 

Dogfish Head : namaste

Branding & Appearance

Geng: It’s like some bugged out crayon little kid steez on the label. Dogfish Head always has some special off-kilter stuff. The skeleton has a a pigs tail.

Rocky: It’s between gothic and hippie, dark hippie shit.

Appearance: Definitely a summertime beer, very light and clear. 

Smell & Taste

Geng: Smells cirtus-y. This is definitely them going we’re gonna shit all over Hoegaarden with this. It’s definitely “summertime”. This not really my lane, but I something I might fancy with a hot dog on a rooftop but I never really eat hot dogs. I like the fact that in comparision to other Dogfish Head beers, it’s on the opposite side of the spectrum.

Note: I sort of wish it had an extra kick. I think it’s refreshing , but it doesn’t have anything that grabs me flavor-wise.

Rocky: It’s so chill. It’s a really chill drink. It’s a great starter beer for children and seniors.

Verdict: On the fence

Wild Onion Hop Slayer Double IPA

Branding & Appearance

Geng: Definetly a fan of the color of it. IPA bubbles impact.

Note: That nice rust look. Glad we all love the can graphic design.

Sidebar: The label reads “Sink your senses into this hop bomb and you’ll soon be singing the praises of the harvest. Cruise the happy roads with our ranchero wrangling amigo and you’ll never want to return home. From the moment you pour this treat into a glass, the floral notes will greet you in a most sensual way, followed by the soul warming blend of malt silkiness and hop bite. So what are you afraid of? Hop in, and get slayed tonight. 

Smell & Taste

Geng: It’s got this fruity licorice smell.  It’s not the of smell I want in a double IPA though. It tastes like an 8% beer but it’s not masked as well as others. For the price ($3.39) I would go to First Amendment brewery and get something I’d really enjoy. 

Note: It doesn’t really taste as strong as it is, I like this beer. It is what it is. It’s just get shitty. I would try something else from this brewery.

Rocky: You could shotgun this IPA, that’s why they put it in a can.

Verdict: 1 thumbs up, 1 thumbs down.

Rogue Farms: Grow the Revolution OREgasmic Ale

Branding & Appearance

Geng: I’m a fan of Rogue’s packaging. This looks like a Black Panthers pamphlet, some Public Enemy Steez.

Note: This sticks out compared to their other stuff, it’s a white label not a darker design.

Smell & Taste

Geng: It’s a citrusy smell to me. The taste is kinda bitter.  Not enjoying this at all. The taste is a complete 180 from the smell. It smells sweet but its a warzone on your palette. Get your Crusader suit on.  It’s making me re-consider my vote on the last one it’s so bad. Get this FDA approved pseudo-organic shit outta here. Fuck this shit. It feels like it’s 16%. And the name sucks.

Note: I don’t like the taste to be honest with you. I haven’t had too many other organic beers for comparison. The name of this beer (OREgasmic?) definetly needs a pause.

Rocky: This one is very flavorful  but I don’t like the flavor. Drinking this is a journey, a treacherous journey going over rickety drawbridges and shit. If there’s a PBR left over you’ll reach for that first. This compared to the last beer is like an ex-girlfriend who looks better in hindsight. I almost want to petition them to stop producing this beer.

Verdict
2 Thumbs Down. We hate this beer a lot.

Hope these reviews help you pick out a winning craft beer this weekend. Let us know if you like this feature or disagree with us on the reviews.  Until next time CBGs out.

 

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